No one can tell me who to be, and how to feel.

    "Your a weirdo," you smirk, and there's a glint in your eyes as I glance up, and I don't know what to say.
    "Yup, biggest one your ever gonna meet," and I keep working, while knowing that's the lamest reply I've ever heard come out of my mouth.
     Then we get dismissed, and I walk as fast as I can, tearing up all the while.
                                                                                                                          -today, 3rd period.


     "If Ryan has something to say to me, then tell him to say it to my face. Also, why doesn't he say it to my face," I ask, determination, and an edge to my voice.
     "He's scared he will get punched by you," he says, hesitant.
     "Where'd he get that idea," me, already knowing.
     "Me," slightly scared, almost questioning himself for saying.
     I think, I would never do that, and I never would.
                                                                                                                           -today 4/5y period.


     You can't tell me who I like, you can't tell me if I hate you or not, and I do. You can't tell me I'm sad or optimistic.
     You definitely can't tell me who I am. Try and I may just punch you then, if it's super distasteful.

You are driving me insane!

   How can I miss the very one who destroys me?


  Right now I'm missing my old best friend :( :/
I'm totally insane, she's the reason I have nightmares every night.
The reason I cry for no reason.
The reason I hate part of myself.
She's part of the reason I'm self conscious.
The reason I am who I am!
The reason I'm scared of the "silence."
The reason I love winter, and at the same time terrified of snow killing me in cold.
The reason I am scared of everything, and everyone.
The reason I don't think I'm good enough.
The reason I don't try to acheive my high standard goals because, I don't think I can, because, I am not good enough!
The reason I want to scream!

                                                                              -from my living dreams/nightmares.